wad abt me?
Saturday, September 30 ♥
Sumtyms i wish dat i want to hev everything back to normal again. u noe wad i mean?to be wif my loved ones again. To be wif adek,best fren and my frens. But dat moment hardly came knocking on my door. I just dun get it why.im happy wid sumone else, im nt having a gd relationship wid others. Seriously, i think i dunnoe wad i want, really. Or should i say others want. I hope time will reveal it all. To me, my promise i made for dat sumone abt smthg has always and been always my top priority. Well of cos studies too!
I didnt know dat looking after a piece of Fragile heart is as difficult as handling a piece of thin glass with one hand..A scar on dat fregile heart, bleeds lyk theres no way u could mend it. Once u break dat piece of fragile heart, theres no turning back. Sorry is not enough. Sorry seems to be the hardest word. When will u let those liquid keep rolling down ur cheeks? Is it when u see sumone u love cried or anythg dat touches ur heart just went away lyk dat? Sumone moved my heart when dat sumone nearly cried for me last friday. i think she cried for me lyk almost twice. Well u dun really have to cry for me if i keep hurting u wif my actions and words. Thousands of questions ringing in my heart. waiting to be answered. Idunnoe when will all these questions be answered. these questiong been ringing in my heart for quite sumtym. I justwant answers. Dats all i need. is it too much for me to ask from u?STOP PLAYING GAMES WITH ME. quit playing games wif my thoughts.
Now i have no either what to do...every steps dat i took seems wrong. everythings not right. I just cant stop hurting my loved ones...have i ever make u proud? but have u ever think of me?
P.S. Dis post has nothing to do with u,hunny..love u..muacks!
Tell me why...
Thursday, September 28 ♥
This week lyk totally sucks...Im damn retless n sleepy lyk for the past few days.Dats not the end...Sec 1s! They can never stop rumours bout me and him. I mean its lyk..wdh! So wad if i went home wif him once?! Its not lyk as if im asking him to go home wid me. it was him! and secondly, when we went home together, his gal was infront of us and shes aware bout me n him gg home together..after all,i treat him as a fren onie. I think he`s a nice guy. Guy wid humour and charm. And i dun think we will go dat far. Friend is the ending line. He`s lyk THREE yrs younger than me...Ouh arse! im kinda mad with my lil cousin. Hes damn naughty. But a great "help" though. yeah2 a great help by telling dat Hazwan smthg which is so not true. Must u tell him dat? Great! now the whole of sec 1te start calling or saying the name Hazwan every tym they saw me. Haiz..Stupid Rumours...Immatured shits..
Had my break fast with best fren at mcdeez ystd. Before dat, we went to Iman`s place to watch Remp-it. Ive not much of an idea wad the movie was abt until i watched it with them.It was kinda ok lah.. especially the bikes and stuff..Only the bikes! Not more than that aite? But me and iman cant stop giving comments bout Julia Hana. After dat,best fren and i went to mcdees at BB CC...Ahakz...i cant stop laughing to myself whenever i think bout wad happen to best fren. We were having our Break fast then she told me dat she wanna fart. then i gave her the green light to fart. She gave me funny faces cos shes forcing the toxics out. The nextmoment i knew, she spit all her food in her mouth out. Almost everything came out. she was laughing all the way. Her face was lyk all red. And i laughed too! Wdh! I asked her why..And she told me dat she wanted to fart and burp at the same..but instead of gases dat came out, it was the food in her mouth dat came out. she kinda dirtied the place. I think shes kinda embarrased bout wad happened. Ryt best fren?
Ouh great! i saw dat bitch at the study crnr... BIG DEAL! u`re dere,bitch...u and ur bitchy frens..yeah wadever,bitch....dun gif a tooting damn...
Best fren,
What happen to you dis week?
i wish i knew...
i wish i could help u...
Tell me why...
let me know...
dats wad best frens are for ryts??
tell me lyk wad i always do when im not ok...
Im not in a mood to update my blog becos of the problems and thangs dats bugging me. I wish i could read my best friend`s mind and hear her thoughts so dat i can stop hurting her without her telling me. Not just her,anybody dat im closed with or should i say,every single human being living in this sinned earth??...
Till here then...shits...
Sweetie love hunny!!
Sunday, September 24 ♥
Its Sunday! and of cos today is the first day of Ramadhan...it wasnt dat bad. Durh dats becos i slept for almost the whole day. Tertdo! Didnt mean to. Last friday was fun! Meet up wif Bestee arnd 8. went to WM to have our so called dinner. Had BK for our dinner. Take aways! I just love take aways! We ate our take aways at my pl`s playgrnd. While we were talking and eating, a boy came up and called sumthg or sumone. We were clueless wad he was talking cos he was talkin in chinese. Then Bestee was lyk "entah2 dier panggel anjing dier". Den came along dis big hairy thingy wif 4 legs...Of cos he was calling the dog. With the burger in my hand i was lyk wdh!. Then the owner asked me whether i was afraid of the dog. Duh of cos im afraid! the dog was huge. *and at that point of tym i didnt realize the dog was few cm away frm me.* i was talking to the owner.Then best fren gave aloud "makk!" then i turned to my left and there the dog was beside me..Freaked! i hollered louder than best fren does. i think the whole blk can hear me. The dog then ran away. I think the dog pon terkejot gaknyer..Bestee and i laughed our butts off! It was hilarious...Then bestee gtg...
Saturday was kinda boring..nthg much to talk abt saturday...I guess Saturdays are meant to be boring..As usual, i did my chores....my usual Saturday chores...
I have lyk 4 to 5 songs on my list..i dunnoe which one to put in my blog...
Iris- Goo Goo Dolls
Wonderwall-Oasis
Nobody`s home-Avril lavigne
My happy ending- Avril Lavigne
Im with you-Avril Lavigne...
Im spoilt with choices man....i guess i put all these song in my blog..each song i put for lyk a week...
U`ll be save here by River maya is nt bad too!
I love u so by Natalie is not bad too! ouh gosh..
Sweetie loves hunny!!! muax!!!
gd bye
Friday, September 22 ♥
Finally the weekends is here...boo hoo hoo..Damn just now afternoon was the last tym i had my lunch in the canteen.Ramadhan is just next week..Yipee!!Cools...Just now during MT prd,The 4NAs watched the 2nd part of "Labu dan Labi"...But we had to stop half way coz we Planned a small farewell party for MR.ISHAK...beloved mly teacher for sum students. Not really for me.He teached me for lyk 2-3 weeks. It was kinda sad though to see him leave. Some gals shed tears. Some guys just wanna act tough by nt crying. "klu nk nanges.nanges je lah." For once i wanna see sum guys cried. We bought a cake for him. After his short speech, MR ISHAK just walked out of the class n cried his heart out. Finally! i saw a teacher crying. Then i cried cos...of some other stuff.Nt becos of the farewell party. Faliq made a presentation. I lurve the song. After all the party thingy,we took pics as a whole class... Best of luck to MR ISHAK. All the best in anything he does in the future...amin.
"selamat tinggal kekasih gelap ku, Cikgu Ishak..."
After school, Best friend had to stayed back for awhile for her survey thingy.Wait for her in the foyer.Then we walked arnd my area just hanging arnd. I pity her loads. She had to resist the temptaion of eating her favourite siew mai. Ahakz...pity u loads.Then i was lyk "u nak mkn siewmai?". She keep on saying yeah. I told her to batal her puasa.( ok i noe its my mistake,but i didnt mean ok. i was just joking bout the whole thing and i think she took it seriously.) And there she goes... ( lyk they say, the rest is history.)
Theres nothing much to update for this post. Ouh yeah to dat sumone,( klu teraser tu, bagos lah. klu tak,pndi2 je lah ehk). I seriously do feel lyk i wanna severed all my contacts frm u. Why? Because i think u DUN DESERVED TO BE LOVED BY ME ANYMORE. I dun care bout u anymore. Thnx for all the act and stuff. Tnx for the fake "care and concern" for me all this while. I think i better lose u than losing more frens. I`d rather lose 1 rather than more than 1. I wont die if i let go of u. Bitches in Yusof Ishak secondary school are just wannabes..just lyk u...Cheap skate wannabes! And thnx for making me lyk a fool by trusting u all this while,bitch.
Bravo2...thank eww so much for everything...I just can`t wait to see u growing up and be matured. Im waiting for that moment....gd bye...
I love it when sumbody said dis phrase to me "Dun hate the person. But hate dat person`s attitude instead"...I learn smthg new today.
* Misi kita, "Jangan berhenti berusaha."
5 days to nlvl (excluding the weekends....)
Monday, September 18 ♥
Damn it Sunday (17.09.06) was boring!! Woke up early in the morning cos momma told me so! I found out that my whole family had to go to the cemetry to clean up u noe those close relative`s cemetry. Well my parents and i only went to lyk 4 cemetry in total including my bro`s cemetry which is a must for my family to go (a big durh!). Through out these years, i didn`t noe dat my late bro`s birthday is the same as Aisha`s boey bdae...! (14th september 1985) Uhh his 21 dis year...cools...I smsed Ehem frm the moment i stepped out of the house until my whole family is done with the whole cleaning up thingy..Damn sumone`s gg away for lyk a day n i cant sms dat sumone anymore! Hmms...had lunch at Clementi den dad sent me n my bro hm...On our way home, i tune in to Class 95..and guess wad? They played my favourite song, "don`t wanna miss a thing" by Aerosmith! i was lyk wdh! must they play that song now when im missing sumone lyk crazy?? i love the part when they go...
"I don't wanna close my eyes
I don't wanna fall asleep
'Cause I'd miss you, babe
And I don't wanna miss a thing
'Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
I'd still miss you, babe
And I don't wanna miss a thing"
I was praying dat daddy will drive slowly so i can listen to the song. Everytym i listen this song it makes me think of sumone...Well im not sure hu though.But whoever came into my mind at that point of tym, ill just u noe starting missing that sumone. Its not dat im thinking bout dat sumone but its just dat...Hmm...nvm i guess i can nvr say wad i wanna say. But precisely it can nvr be the Hulk or dat sumone frm sec 3.Then that evening Pefect 10 played Unfaithful by rihanna. Again i was lyk ouh gosh! freak...But it reminds me of adek Nurul hu always sing along to this song...Her voice is still stuck in my head.Nice voice u have there adek...u really do have a nice voice.Ahakz...miss her loads especially when she bullies Aisah! Great stuff there! After that song, they play Stick with u! AHAKZ...the song which is dedicated to me frm sumone special! :) I cried when that sumone smsed me and said " i love you"...Ahakz...i just cant stop smilling to myself...
Woke besty up just now mrng arnd 5.15 am cos she told me so...She have yet to get her sch stuff ready...Came home late ystd...But yet, she was late for sch! she Reached sch arnd 8 am...Same goes for Mdm reh...Lyk student lyk teacher..Bagos lah tu..due2 pon leh tahan rapat...Good friends...u guys made a promise or wad?No offence ya? School was nothing special...Mt was boring!!! Mrs Scot was nt in sch since last friday. Wad happen mrs scot?? Sit with adek enal n Hazwan at the study corner for awhile...Then they had to go.Recess assembly...My lil cousin Adek enal is such a "gd boy" as he didnt skip Recess assembly Unlyk Hazwan!! Notti boy..After sch, had a quick lunch b4 best fren went to my place to chill!!
**Best friend..a lil note for ya...Do drink lots of milk cos i realize u have problem with ur bones..dats wad i realize and ermm..pls stop growing!!
Thursday, September 14 ♥
First and formost, i just wanna wish Siti aisha Sabri boey stephanie,amy a Sweet 16 birthday girl..Ass! ure 16 today...nc16 movie fer u...damn! why am i making a big deal out of sumone hu`s 16 already just becos they can watch nc 16 movies...damn!
Yesterday (Wednesday) last 2 period was fun! i sat with adik at Study Corner. Mr wong was not in school or was he in sch? i was sitting alone most of the time doing my Dnt hmwrk since ive nothing to do. Then it was my second prd for physics lsn, guess who came down? Ite!! cools...Adik sort of lyk accompany me. Hazwan was there too! hehex with me! Adik told me sum stupid secrets which ironically i find it interesting! Hazwan n one of his fren said dat adik has a tattoo on his left arm which has initial on it. Well, im not sure. He cant stop smilling and i cant stop smilling at him too! His smile is so sweet! but my best fren`s smile`s so seducing n sweet...! I had fun with them...then they gtg cos Mr adam called them. I saw them again when i was on my to the hall.Hazwan keep on saying to me "dah; tak yah nk amek exam." I was lyk wdh! its math mock exam! The math mock exam was Freaking ass! It was damn difficult. i keep on talking to myself just to understand a couple of question. wad a Questionaire!After all that, best fren and i had our lunch in sch. She gave up doing the math paper just now! Im sorry for slapping u twice just now just becos u gave up doing the math ppr...im so sorry.
Today was fun! had lots of laughter. Albeit the day didnt start off well, but the guys arnd me at the parade sq made me laugh. Taufiq, rusedi n baboon. They made me laugh. Two periods of P.E! it was fun! it was boring at first then best fren came down for her p.E lsn. dats when the fun starts! played badminton with her, rrne, rose n vithya. i keep on smacking their butts with the racket. It was for fun though. Best fren accompanied me the whole afternoon just now. Had LOADS! of laughter. Especially me! even my best fren was lyk, " wads with you?" Today was great!!
Im in dillema! help me...Its one of the last thing i want ryt now. Not now! c`mon n lvl is 19 days away and why am i having it ryt now?? shiats! Its bothering me. its taking over me. Its hovering over me...Get over it soon... Its just a mutual feeling ya noe. i dun want it to turn to a serious one cos im not ready for one....
19 days to n lvl...021006
***1 mth 5 days to ...FIGURE IT OUT URSELF!!
Monday, September 11 ♥
I despise HYPOCRITES!! I really hate them.I wish they never exist. You don`t have to "act" good in front of me. Cut those fucking act of yours. It makes no difference! Stop lying to me and to yourself especially. Its freaking unfair if u can do it whereas i cant! I did it for the sake of our friendship which is kinda new. But, i think u took me for Granted! U GET THAT, FRIEND? Nurul Iman once told me not to have the why-u-can-and-i-cant atiitude....But it looks lyk i have to have that atiitude. My star sign is Libra and i believe in fair n square. And its a positive atiitude! The world arnd me is so unfair. Im being nice to my fren although they are not! Ive had enough aite? Please stop it...You are hurting me deep down inside and i didnt wanna tell you cause i think its not worth it to talk to sumone who is so freaking immatured n NOT INDEPENDENT AT ALL...Grow up fren n be independent. Stop seeing the world thru others.Be Independent,fren....Emotional pain is just as painful as physical pain...
First day of school was kinda boring...best friend`s having her O lvl mt prelim...After recess was my phy lsn...Mr Wong was late today! damn it...i could have avoid sumone easily if mr wong was early for lesson just now...Chem was fun! Mt...hmm..sumone`s talking behind my back..well technically...Aisha and my best fren were talking bout me and rafeezal ( did i get his name ryt?).Aisha thought dat i was resting my head on his shoulder! wdh! i will nvr do dat aite??They keep on smilling at me for no reason...hmm...I wonder wad they are up to..haiz...
Lyf`s boring indeed...with the lyf im leading..haiz..i can only sigh all the way...I wonder when can people have a heart dat care for other`s feelings? Even if they are lyk "eh atiqah, are you ok? how are you?" are they just being plain concern or kaypohs to make me feel good? Well, to tell you the truth, you guys don`t have to that to make me feel wanted or good...really... Just keep it to yourself...Don`t waste your tym on me if u are not sincere..I don`t waste my tym by talking to you guys who are just being kaypohs or freaking ass...
I guess you guys have a clue or two bout the lyf im leading..its not smiles and laughter all the tym..its pain, hatred and LIARS dat surrounds me..not my loved ones...
Nothing but misery
Saturday, September 2 ♥
Finally I`m updating my bloggie. Let`s just summarise this week. Hmm.. Monday 28th August 2006. It was best friend`s birthday. She cried a couple of times. Sorry i wasn`t there for you in the toilet. Thanks rrne for accompanying her in the toilet. When Mdm reh talked to best freind during recess, i almost wanna cried too when i saw best friend cried. The tears just wouldnt stop flowing from her eyes. Those crystal clear liquid just keep flowing down her cheeks like she lost someone precious. After my award rehearsal, i went to best friends place to be with her n celebrate it with her. Bought her orange Converse hi cut. Hope she likes it.
Tuesday (29th august 2006)
It was my so called big day. my so called big day because im not satisfied with the award that i get.Well, it wasnt me alone. Nani too complaint n said that we deserved to get DISTINCTION instead of merit. The BCOY distinction awardees keep on asking me "why u guys get merit when u guys are suppose to get gold?" How on earth am i suppose to asnwer them? The only time i smiled throught out the whole ceremony was when the soccer boys get their award! because of Hazwan. Ahakz! hes damn cute n handsome too! Sorry best friend coz i keep telling you he`s handsome n cute. Just bare with it ya? hehehe...(: I played deaf by closing my ears when the takraw b boys get on stage especially when it comes to his name.I dun gif a damn i dun even look at him. But i look at number 11 though. ( best freind, u should noe who are those two guys ryt?)
Wednesday-just lyk any other day.
Thursday (31st August 2006)
It was damn boring! Teachers day is lyk monday to friday! Nothing special. Except for the fact dat we`re allowed to wear home clothes to school.The concert was lyk shito! Except fer Hanif`s and Rasul`s band. Somebody caught my attention. While Rasul`s band was playing, The gal infront of me took Amir`s pic! I mean lyk only him! She even zoom in to get a clear pic of him. Best friend and i just laughed about it as we find it hilarious! Dat gal must be obsessed bout dat Almost-hot-but-not-dat-hot-guy. After the whole thingy, best friend went to her class party and i sit in the cntn alone waiting fer her. After all that shit, We went to cp. Bought best friend a tigger mug. Before that, ate chicken rice at banquet. Aisah, ure very bad to laugh ur head off just becos sumone missed a sep and nearly fall. Dat man was lucky enuff nt to sprained his ankle.On our way home to best friends place, i had rashes outbreak! even best friend was wondering why all of sudden i had rashes. I wish i knew why too,best friend.
So that`s how the weekdays went by. My life is nutthing but a misery...
|
